Turtle in Osaka, Japan

Have you ever wondered why the standard length of a tourist visa is 90 days?
Well I have uncovered the answer.
After this time an alien will go mad and end up spraying the local population with an ak-47 or whatever is at hand. I have been here for 88 days!

To be honest I'm not bored with Japan as such. Somethings I love;

• Weather
• People
• Work

It's very good weather, always warm, sometimes sunny. It's such a nice feeling looking out of my offices early Sunday on the sunrise, or the sunset in the evening.

Once the locals find out I'm English they often like to call me a gentleman, thinking that this is a term for all Englishmen. I think that the title should be held for all Japanese. All Japanese treat each other and giajins with the upmost respect and you never fell the slightest intimidation or crime anywhere you go.

After 3 months here I've built up quite a varied social network with Americans, Canadians, Scots, Aussies, French etc. I'm really glad I work at the head-office, there are just so many people there that you're bound to find someone you get on with and they're all in the same posistion as you and generally a lot of fun.

Then there are some things I hate;

• Weather
• People
• Work

It's just so humid here it's unbearable. I can't even take the lift down to my bike in the afternoon without ruining my finely pressed shirt. And people tell me it only gets worse "this is nothing"! And when it's not baking hot it's pouring down with rain, rain so hard is bounces off from the endless concrete and hits you in the face.

The cultural differences of the Japanese sometimes are just so alien to me. It seems they don't have a word for "no". To answer the simple question of "Do you have tomato sauce?" they follow a long, confusing but essential ritual of first looking confused, then constipated and finally ill, before making an X symbol with their fingers and saying something like "What you ask of me would prove very difficult at this time, I am sorry for my lack of ability to help you I would love to be your servant". Another thing is their rules. Rules are so much a part of life here they don't even have their own word for it and use the Engrish word "Ruuru"(note that the sounding of Ls in Japanese is impossible so they have to use a soft R).

I hate my job. I was so naive before, I thought I hated work -- I didn't. I only hated going to work. Here I really hate being at work, with a passion. For 34+ hours a week I have to try and get across how to take a taxi or rent a car to a 12 year old who is being forced into taking lessons by their parents, an 89 year old widow who has never been abroad who's only hobby is English lessons and a social-excluded salary man who has just worked 120 hours mon-sat and gets up at 7:30am on his only day off to try and keep his eyes open. It also seems that the Japanese are very ashamed of having a recession. They speak like Yoda and must think like him "Painful and dangerous this emotion is. Hide this you must. Fun and pleasure you have not must". The most threatening thing to Japanese society is not a nuke from North Korea, but people having any freedom from their work. We're not even allowed water whilst we work. My day is run like a factory, every 50 mins a bell will ring to the glorious melody of BigBen and if I'm not at my computer - big trouble.

Maybe this is just a little phase. I was told today that the reason for my depression is that I haven't done karaoke for over a month now! I don't know, I want to stick this out. I don't want any regrets about cutting it short - plus another 3 months and I get 2 weeks leave which I may as well aim for. Also my view of home is probably distorted. I'm sure it isn't that sunny, green and pleasant land that I remember when everyday is a Sunday and England win the worldcup.

Still, bed now. Tomorrow I get to teach someone how to return clothes to a shop! Oh the joys!